Because really decadent brunch is super important once in a while, and it’s the only time I will surrender my kitchen dictatorship to squirrelfriend, who rules forever at Dutch baby pancakes and has de-pescetarianized me by finding out my SECRET CRIPPLING BACON WEAKNESS OH GOD APPLEWOOD SMOKED UNCURED BACON AGGGHGHGHGGHGHGHGH UNFFFFFFFF. Needless to say, unlike most of my food posts, this is not vegan, gluten free, or even marginally containing any sort of nutritional value other than perhaps hangover curing properties. And it RULES.

YOU NEED and probably have in your house already:

  • butter
  • flour
  • salt
  • milk
  • eggs
  • confectioner’s sugar
  • regular sugar
  • a lemon
  • bacon
  • fresh berries
  • vanilla extract or some flavourful booze
  • a cast iron pan, a cast iron griddle, and a saucepan
  • goofy apron (see below) and handsome assistant to cook bacon for you.

Got it all? Cool, here we go.

Squirrelfriend adapted the dutch baby recipe from this one, but left out the vanilla-sugar and added nutmeg since it’s sorta better when it’s a little savory and not super-sweet and desserty, IMO. You also don’t need a food processor: just get the dry stuff together without any lumps in a big bowl, then pour in the wet stuff and whisk, but don’t overbeat or you’re gonna end up with a rubbery, flabby pancake (eeeew) instead of a light fluffy crackly one. Getting the temperatures right helps a lot with texture, too — cold milk + hot melted butter + cold eggs does not a smooth batter make.

We’d also recc not putting the butter in the cast iron until after you’re done with the pancake mixin’, so that the butter doesn’t burn in the pan sitting there at 375 degrees for, like ten minutes.  So let the pan get super hot while you mix, then throw a ton of butter in it (it’ll melt real fast and sizzle a bunch) and swish it around, and then pour in your batter and pop that sucker in the oven. The batter looks thin, right? IT IS DECEPTIVE AND WILL SOON BECOME A GIGANTIC CRAZY PUFFY MUSHROOM THING.

Make your coffee. Cook your bacon. Put it on paper towels to dry. Drool maniacally.

Wipe drool off face, eat the littlest piece of bacon that you kinda burned anyhow so you obviously can’t put it on a plate. Throw a bunch of raspberries (or other berries — fresh is best but frozen is fine too, those bags of mixed frozen berries are great when you’re in a pinch) in a saucepan with a few tablespoons of water and a ton, I dunno, maybe start with a third of a cup of granulated sugar over medium-high heat.  Stir and smash up the berries a lil’ bit. Keep stirring and smashing as it boils, and keep an eye on it as it cooks down into a syrupy mess. Add more sugar if it’s too thin, but be careful as once the sugar starts melting and the water boils off it’ll get thick REAL fast.  A teaspoon of vanilla (or a few tablespoons of liquor! Rum! Amaretto! Grand Marnier! Whatever! Don’t worry, the alcohol will cook off and just leave it super tasty) is nice here too.

Your pancake should be near done by now. Check on it and freak out over how huge it has become. Like, WHAT??!

Let that sucker cool and deflate a lil’ while you plate up your bacon and pour another cup of coffee and all. Cut it into wedges, sprinkle it with a little bit of powdered sugar, squirt some lemon juice on it, and smother it in the raspberry goo you just made. The savory-tart-sweet-salty combination is AWESOME.

Try to take more than five minutes to wolf it all down, and then lie around in the best food coma of your life for the next six hours. Totally worth it, right?