NO FUCKING SHIT abstinence education is bad. And are you kidding me that 2/3rds of the USA’s epic ‘global AIDS relief plan’ went to ‘abstinence education’? Are you KIDDING? How about, you know, like, condoms, or maybe even drugs for those infected? Our government’s regulation of sex is fucking infuriating beyond comprehension. The contrast to the sex-ed plans and AIDS relief plan of basically every other ‘wealthy’ nation in the world is absolutely incomprehensible; let’s compare this article to some statistics about Brazil’s AIDS plan (as debatable as some of the tactics are) Let’s compare a ‘developing country’ giving condoms to prostitutes to one of the world’s superpowers spending 2/3rds of a budget telling people that the only way to prevent STDs is to just never have sex. Can anyone find some logic here? Please?
And how about the “over 80% of the [abstinence-only sex ed] curricula reviewed was found to contain false, misleading, or distorted information about reproductive health,” — obviously, as my own ‘abstinence-encouraged’ high school sex-ed was a huge pack of lies and distortions as well. The examples of that - a relatively progressive sex-ed program as far as abstinence-stressed programs go - are mindblowing.
A point brought up in Yes Means Yes - which you should probably read, if you have not - is that a huge part of much American sex ed portrays sex as a commodity which men want (and must restrain themselves from taking) and women possess (but must restrain themselves from ever giving up until there’s a ring on their finger and they’re ready for babies) rather than an act between people of any gender as something which can be pleasurable, educational, intimate, fun, and positive. Something shocking that I realised after reading that: I think I was like, 16 years old before I really understood that people enjoy sex and that it can be emotionally positive for a couple, that it’s not just about men wanting to stick it in me and thereby infect me with babies + disease. We are educated to isolate desire, pleasure, and intimacy from the scientific facts of the sex act — essentially we are not taught that sex is social and normal and that like any other social thing, certain risks and choices must be understood — only one of the tiniest problems with ‘abstinence’ education. We are not taught about risks + rewards and the things which much be considered and dealt with, which is the most important part of learning to make responsible, adult choices.
Another fantastic memory of my ever-so-progressive abstinence-encouraged education was a ‘family roles’ questionnaire, meant to ‘open up discussion’ about people’s different ideas. While this is a great idea in theory, having to check off ‘true or false’ next to statements such as “A woman’s place is in the kitchen” was not exactly a great way to break down gender binaries or encourage respectful sexual interaction. During the discussion I remember one boy in my class saying he agreed with that statement. Whether he was joking or not I - feminist-out-of-rebellion-before-I-even-understood-the-importance - made some sort of “WHAT?!?!?!” comment, to which he sneered, “Well what do you expect, a woman to hold a full time job when she has kids?” When I replied that “I think that’s really offensive,” he told me “Shut up, dyke,” and our teacher told me to stop disrupting class. This was my sex education.
Other fond memories include:
- “This is a condom, it fails 20% of the time and does not prevent pregnancy or STDs” (rather than “This method is not perfect, but it is cheap, widely accessible, and easy to use, and does provide protection. If you are sexually active it is IMPERATIVE that you use one, and discussing their use is not embarrassing, it’s positive and intelligent and responsible.”)
- Abstinence targeted mostly at teaching girls not to ‘give it up’ no matter how much our boyfriends pressured us. (I guess because girls have no desire, and because we’ll only ever have boyfriends, and because sex is something to give up and once we do we’ll be a worthless slut, and because boys by nature will pressure us? Right.)
- “Family planning” which was based not around discussing ways of preventing pregnancy and dealing with it should it occur, but around carrying babydolls around the school to let us know what a burden a child would be and reminding us that birth control pills do not work 100% of the time.
- STD education as scare tactics (“HPV will infect you for life with warts” rather than “75% of people will get HPV in their lifetime, meaning it is very common and not shameful, but needs to be addressed. Most have no symptoms and clear from the body in 18 months, but a few strains can be very serious and cause warts, infertility, or cancer. There is a vaccine, but it does not protect against all strains and condoms do not necessarily protect against it. Girls, getting vaccinated and getting regualar PAP smears will help; boys, get vaccinated if and once it becomes available and get STD screened regularly as well. Girls and boys, using protection and making responsible choices about your partners can help prevent and manage all STDs.” etc etc.)
- Absolutely no information on locations of Planned Parenthoods (and that they treat you for FREE in SECRET if you’re a teen), hotlines or anything for more info, information on how/where to get contraceptives or help if they didn’t work. I didn’t even know there was a morning after pill until college, let alone that I could get it without a prescription; I thought it was the same thing as RU-486.
This was progressive abstinence-encouraged education in America, folks. This is how we are preventing AIDS and other STDs, teaching teenagers to make responsible choices, educating people about rape + sexual violence prevention, encouraging functional relationships, abolishing misogyny and homophobia, promoting tolerance for alternative lifestyles, dealing with body image issues and sexual shame, and helping those in need — in a very wealthy politically-moderate suburban public school even before Bush’s program. Can we even imagine how bad it is in impoverished urban areas where STDs, teen pregnancy, and sexual violence are a much bigger problem?
